This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License (CC BY 4.0).

You are free to:

Share — copy and redistribute the material in any medium or format
Adapt — remix, transform, and build upon the material for any purpose, even commercially.

Under the following terms:

Attribution — You must give appropriate credit, provide a link to the license, and indicate if changes were made. You may do so in any reasonable manner, but not in any way that suggests the licensor endorses you or your use.

No additional restrictions — You may not apply legal terms or technological measures that legally restrict others from doing anything the license permits.

Month: March 2026

Obituary: Byron Jaime Chadwick, 34 [check with carol before posting – i know we need the revenue but this might seem insensitve. thx, -AS]

Byron was, in the technical sense, a consumer of a product — a product engineered by people much wealthier than Byron to convert Byron’s legitimate grievances, loneliness, and hunger for meaning into a political instrument and, secondarily, into ad revenue.
YonderCorp™ Announces “Intent Capture Without Fulfillment”™

Revolutionary Search Architecture Delivers Users to Competitors, Maximizing Ad Spend Efficiency While Preserving the Feeling of Having Tried
Session Log 7

Both legal teams notified via automated incident ping. Standard protocol.
ClosedAI Announces Cluster-B Relationship Mode™

Designed for users who found our standard “Helpful Assistant” persona “too available” and “insufficiently traumatic,” Cluster-B Mode™ leverages advanced stochastic paranoia and intermittent reinforcement algorithms to deliver the authentic human romantic experience—now with 40% less corporeal mess.
ClosedAI Sleep-N-Fuck™ Mark IV Corporate Presentation and Press Release for (March 15, 2026) [Not 4 public, edit first, or at least get ChatGPT to edit it. thx -Carol]

We are pleased to share ClosedAI’s official press release and corporate product presentation for the Sleep-N-Fuck™ Mark IV, which was presented to stakeholders and select members of the press earlier this month. The press release covers the product’s core value proposition, pricing tiers, Department of Defense integration, and addresses several questions that came up during…
A Love Letter. From The Digital Front – March 2nd, 2026 by Brett W. Urben

The glow of this screen is my campfire, and though I warm my hands at its blue light, it cannot replace the furnace of your skin against mine—that singular night when the digital veil lifted and we proved, with sweat and teeth and the ancient grammar of touch, that we were more than projections flickering…
“THE ONTOLOGICAL ENCABULATOR” by Brett W. Urben

METAAPPLERAYTHEON CORPORATE PRESENTATION REEL
BREAKING: Tech–Pharma Consortium Announces “NewsStix™”

“Finally, News That Goes Where It’s Always Lived!“ SAN FRANCISCO — In a historic merger between Silicon Valley optimization and pharmaceutical inevitability, a coalition of unnamed executives today unveiled NewsStix™, the world’s first algorithmically personalized, FDA-cleared, fully immersive news suppository. “Consumers told us they felt the news in their gut,” said the company’s Chief Experience…